I have to get this off my chest, so I'll apologise for the rant first.
Every single day I'm at my mother's health care centre visiting her, tidying up, running errands for her, organising all the little things etc., and overall making the jobs of the workers there who take care of her easier, not to mention keeping my mom company. They all know who I am, have for weeks.
So one day a couple of months ago, I asked which washroom I should use (mom's in a private room, has her own bathroom, but I was told not to use it, so I don't). I was directed to a washroom down the hall that has a sign on it saying "Staff Only". That surprised me, so I asked if it really was okay, and I was told YES. So for all these weeks, I have used that one. Plenty of the nursing staff have seen me go in, no one said a thing...until today.
There's an occupational therapist there who is a humourless bitch. I've seen her give a hard time to many seniors, just plain being mean. So I've never had a warm place in my heart for this woman. Today, she and the head nurse, who also knows me, were standing a few feet away from the washroom door when I went in. When I left the washroom, she bellowed out in a voice loud enough to carry down the whole wing, that I ws not to use that one. I interrupted politely to tell her I had been told to use it. "By whom?', she yelled. I told her it was a nurse, but I couldn't remember which one, because it was weeks ago, long before i knew the faces. She kept right on bellowing at me, even as I asked her just where visitors were supposed to go.
Whatever.... why do people like that get themselves in a career where they deal with vulnerable people and their relatives?
I hope one day this nasty, cold witch finds herself suffering from something debilitating and she gets her counterpart for a care-giver. She's bound to have a taste of her own medicine some day. I just hope I'm around to see it.
I feel bad for you, I hate people like that too, but I usually will get the better of most people as I will either argue or find out who their boss is and complain. I hope you are able to get someone to help you with this situation!
whats sad is that this happens a lot in the nursing field. People start out all happy and excited to be able to help people but somewhere along the line they get burnt out, and I have seen it the most with people who work with older patients...Probably because with most of them you cant save them, the best you can do is make whats left comfortable.
I thought about being a nurse but my sister in law is one of these women who got burnt out and i never wanted to be that old bitter person...
I also despise these kinds of people because this behavior is so unnecessary.
I also especially hate to see it in teachers, and more than ever when it's teachers of very young children. Why do they go into a profession such as this when they appear to dislike those very people they're teaching?????
As far as your bitch is concerned, I'm sure that you must have been tempted to smack her. These kinds of confrontations can leave a person steaming for days.
Console yourself by realizing that she's a small-minded, insecure, most likely unsuccessful individual in most areas of her life, and she's also probably disliked by everyone who is unfortunate enough to work with her.
I'm still fuming at a few people of similar ilk, and over situations that happened long enough ago that I should be over it by now!
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"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"
(Dumbledore to Harry Potter)
KaeEll, I am so sorry to read about your bad encounter. Some people are just plain old mean, and truly should not be dealing with others, and especially those who are to weak to be able to defend theirselves.
I truly believe in karma, and what goes around comes around. You conducted yourself with class and dignity, and in the end she only looked like the true shrew that she is.
to tell you the truth i would report her nasty ass...and site the nurse who was w/her as a witness. i'd make the complaint formal. i'm such a lunatic about this stuff i'd start documenting every single time i heard her being nasty to a patient...date/time/room #/what was said. okay, some might consider that overkill but i'd do it anyway.
i'm sorry she was so rude & mean to you.
oh & does she work w/your mom? i'd be sure to request your mom gets a different OT.
kris
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an ABC soap fan since i was a teen. favorte hobby is reading mysteries & legal or medical procedural mysteries
I know, I know -- you're a "good girl", and I can relate to that; I'm exactly the same way until I'm pushed too far.
That's why you weren't using your mother's bathroom in the first place. You were told not to, and so you abided by what you believed were the house rules.
If you decide to complain, definitely be certain that this woman doesn't have any authority over your mother's care. However, you have every right to complain. Your mother is a PATIENT there which means that, one way or another (insurance, national health care, or whatever), you're footing the bills. We all tend to forget that both doctors and nurses are in a SERVICE industry (degrees and titles don't matter), and the patient, and the patient's family is the paying client.
That reprimand may have been a small matter on the face of it, but I can feel the humiliating sting of it for you all the way down here in Virginia! And, who the devil does this woman think she is, reprimanding an adult woman like that?!? You weren't some slovenly 14-year-old boy who ducked into the staff bathroom, without permission, leaving fingerprints on the mirror, and bits of TP all over the floor...
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"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"
(Dumbledore to Harry Potter)
Unfortunately, this woman is my mom's OT, and the only one in the "funtional enhancement unit". My one option would be to ask the patient care coordinator for her "advice" in the situation, in a non accusatory manner. I could ask her if I committed a dreadful infraction of the rules (regarding the bathroom), and could I possibly have a schedule of mom's OT sessions so that I could plan to attend them with her, or at least be in the area at the time. That ought to put a damper on this witchy woman's tendency to be harsh.
I really feel that I need to work WITH these care-givers. It's almost impossible to be fired from these jobs as there aren't enough nurses and qualified workers here these days. We're kind of stuck. Many doctors and nurses have left the country to work in the USA where they are paid so much more money. There was a huge drain from our Hospital for Sick Childen to Texas a few years back. The country is now retooling their foreign doctors' qualifications testing in order to counteract this alarming trend.
It's likely true that Jane (the OT) has had many disappointments in her life and may well have started out much kinder, but now just goes through the motions in a heartless manner. She reminds me of those old hag teachers we all have had, the ones everybody hated, dreaded getting her class.
Kris, I'd love to get her sorry behind in trouble, but it wouldn't help my mother. She will, however, be getting cold and indifferent stares from me, while out of my mouth will spill out the necessary pleasantries. And she'll be seeing more of me, too. The witch!
Did she ever get around to telling you where you're supposed to "go"???
If you can't use your mother's bathroom, and if you can't use the staff bathroom anymore, even though staff directed you to it, and if OT-B didn't identify any other bathrooms for family use, that pretty much leaves the hall floor...
I suppose that you could always ask if they have any extra heavy-duty adult diapers for your personal use during your visits.
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"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"
(Dumbledore to Harry Potter)
The head nurse who was with the washroom nazi finally did tell me that there were visitor washrooms on the main and ground floors. I had to strain to hear her though, because witchy woman was still bellowing. Head nurse must have felt a tinge of guilt over this, because something tells me it was she that directed me to the staff washroom back in March.
Oh, and lots of other visitors use that washroom. I've seen it dozens of times.
I just got home from my daily trek to see mom, and the sweetest, kindest young nurse was on duty today. I asked her about the washroom situation, and she said that it had recently become an issue. Then I told her I caught royal hell from Jane yesterday, and she kind of rolled her eyes and apologised to me for that. So, it seems her reputation is out there.
This is the sweet obliging nurse who offered to make us a pot of tea!! (Oh, Jane nixed the tea kettle that I brought so I could make tea in the pantry.) And she accompanied mom when she insisted upon walking me to the door to leave. (Mom still has a red tag on her walker which means she can't go off for a walk on her own.) Many of the other nurses would have barked at her to get back to her room. So there are some decent, lovely, kind and caring people out there! Too bad there aren't a few more of them.
