I warned you, they're corny.

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
A hog and kisses!

Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
It was Valenswine's Day!

What did the Valentines card say to the stamp?
Stick with me and we'll go places!

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
Sure, they're very scent-imental!

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
"I'm sweet on you!"

What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
"I find you very attractive."

What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
A hug and a quiche!

What did one pickle say to the other?
"You mean a great dill to me."

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
"I love you a ton!"

What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
"You're fun to hang around with."

Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
He fell in love with a pincushion!

What did the pencil say to the paper?
"I dot my i's on you!"

Liz: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons."
Jon: "Really?"
Liz: "Yeah, you make me sick!"

Why do valentines have hearts on them?
Because spleens would look pretty gross!

What did one light bulb say to the other?
"I love you a whole watt!"

What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
He gives it a valenshine!

"Do you love me more than you love sleep?"
"I can't answer now. It's time for my nap!"

What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?
"I've got a crutch on you!"

Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?
It was a case of guppy love.

What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?
"Be my valenstein!"