Okay, I'm a litte pissed at the moment and I think it's reasonable.
So we had to put my wife's gerbil down. We had gotten 3 sisters so all of us had our "own" gerbil. She was upset and I was understanding, offered to get her a ferret, cat, etc. trying to make her feel better and comfort her.
So she seems fine, made dinner which I thanked her for, no indication she was still upset and in fact I asked her if she was okay and she said she was fine.
Then later she says "I'm going to bed." and I was like why and she went off saying that she really needed me and I wasn't really there for her. When you say you're fine, then I believe you. Double speak or expecting me to know that you're not okay when you say you're okay isn't cool.
So she more or less went off all grumpy at me and grumpy at the situation. So I go in later giving her time to chill out and we talk, I apologize even though I still don't think I should have to, and everything seems fine, go to bed.
This morning comes and I get the silent treatment, one word answers and I ask her what's wrong since we had talked and she doesn't remember it and does her "whatever" thing that I hate so much to indicate I must be lying because she doesn't recall it.
Yeah... so..
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"If you were looking for something clever or witty or funny here, you've come to the wrong place."
So buy her some pretty flowers, get take out dinner, be super sweet and apologetic, and get used to the idea that you'll never understand. I know that isn't particularly helpful in getting to the bottom of things, but it will work. Women are different creatures.
Oh, and if she's still touchy after that, do it again and again until she feels better. Think of it as penance for having been born male. :)
See I guess my main complaint is she's been the one to say "Oh no I'll tell you when something is bothering me, etc" and she didn't. She wasn't all moppy or anything, acted normally. That is what I don't get, and that is what is frustrating. Thanks for the advice Kae.
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"If you were looking for something clever or witty or funny here, you've come to the wrong place."
sometime women just want someone to listen to them rant for a while, do you think you were a good listener of were you trying to solve the problem? (men are from mars, women are from venus)
I think if you tried to listen and you did apologize then just let her have some time. Flowers IMO, would seem like forcing it.
Is it PMS time btw, seems rather unusual to be upset that long (at you)
Of course, I don't know Patricia at all, but somehow you hurt or disappointed her, and maybe she can't even put her finger on it herself, which would explain why she can't talk to you about it.
I know that years ago, if my husband was mysteriously (to him) in the dog house, he would always blame my weirdness, never himself, and that caused us all kinds of problems along the way. It wasn't until I could clearly articulate what my complaint was, could he respond appropriately, and he, as male, wouldn't always choose the "correct" response, correct as in to make me feel better.
Sometimes it helps to forget about what the core of the problem is and treat the symptoms. Men never really "get" women the way we would like to be "gotten" anyway.
Just had a thought - maybe your good wife is upset that you were able to deal with the loss of the little pet so rationally, when she was very emotionally upset about it.
Still, flowers would help, Bran. Let us know how it goes.
well if she is in that particular time frame as you put it then maybe you should buy her the flowers but just give her some space....my husband is SO lucky, I never get like that
