I am sitting here killing time until we get to go to lunch. It will be nice to get a change of scenery during the day if only for a short while.

Wow Kae I am beginning to think that your world never slows down. I really want to visit NZ but don't think that I could spend months there. I think that the days in my life where I want to live in another country have passed. I have a friend stationed in Germany who thinks it would be a great opportunity for us to get orders to somewhere like England, says it will be cool for Jolene. I just don't think i could spend that much time so far from family. I think that becoming a mom has grounded me. I like to be home, wherever home is at the moment. Anyways, Vinnie should be home in a little over a week, so that will be nice.

Not much else going on in my world. I get my first paycheck after being away the last two weeks. I gotta tell you 2 weeks without pay when you still have to pay for day care whether she is there or not is tough.

Anyways, for those who didn't notice I did blog about my trip on myspace. When I get home tonight I will copy and paste it into here.

Good Lord, KaeEll...!!! Here -- by all means -- please accept this very LARGE box of dramamine, and here's a little bouquet of fresh lavendar for you too. A little aroma therapy can't hurt.

Despite the rapidly-changing high tides, it must have been nice to have the five of you together for dinner. Your immediate family unit! That's a very rare thing, once the "babies" have grown up, and moved away.

Our youngest called last night to tell us that she is now unemployed. This is Arizona-daughter who worked as a nanny, and who was essentially an entire staff rolled into one person. The dismissal was bizarre, to say the least, but A-d is taking it quite well, and even has a positive attitude about it all.

Frankly, I'm more worried about the little girl (Ayva) who just had her fifth birthday than I am about our own daughter.

Our daughter was hired nearly a year ago to take care of Ayva (through a mutual friend), and the two of them have really bonded. Since she was first hired, the parents added a whole heap of duties to the list, so our daughter has also been cleaning their house (laundry, changing sheets, scrubbing floors and bathrooms, etc.), keeping it meticulous, and even doing the cooking. This was while going to school full-time too, although not during the summer. She hous-sat for the family when they were away with Ayva, and cared for their two large, elderly dogs, (both now deceased) who peed and pooped all over the house.

Our daughter really cares about this little girl who is a very smart little girl, and also very insightful. The parents -- quite wealthy -- don't seem to know quite what to do with the child! For her recent fifth birthday, they gave her a fishing pole, a set of golf clubs (not toys ones), and a very expensive digital camera. Our daughter had noticed that Ayva was drooling over a baby doll at Toys-R-Us (she already has a lot of fashion dolls, but no baby dolls), and although Ayva hadn't asked for the doll, she always gravitated to it whenever they visited T-R-U. So, that's what our daughter gave her, along with an extra little outfit, and she loved it! On the way home from errands that day with Ayva, our daughter told her that they were going home so that she could play with some of her new birthday gifts, and Ayva remarked, "Well, I really didn't get any TOYS to play with..." And, aside from the doll, she didn't. She got a fishing pole, a set of golf clubs, and a digital camera! Probably not items on a five-year-old's wishlist...

In the meantime, the parents are preparing to purchase a new $5 million home, in the same area where they currently live.

So on Friday, our daughter had spent the day doing all of the usual things with Ayva, and took her out on errands, etc. It happened that Ayva's mom was home, and had been doing some organizational stuff in her study. Quite naturally, Ayva occasionally went down the hall to see what her mother was doing. That afternoon, our daughter called me to ask a cooking question. She was making pastry, and wanted to know if she could substitute butter for shortening; I told her yes. She was baking the family an apple pie from scratch.

After she finished the pie, and had fed Ayva, she loaded the dishwasher with everything that would fit, turned it on, and scrubbed the kitchen floor where some flour had fallen during the pie making. At that point, it was time for her to leave, so she gave Ayva lots of hugs (Ayva begged her to stay a little longer), and headed home for the weekend.

JUST as she arrived at her apartment, her cell phone rang, and it was Ayva's mother. She apparently told our daughter that "it was NOT a good day today". She reprimanded our daughter for having left a couple of plates in the sink, and for having allowed Ayva to interrupt her while she was going through some boxes in the study! Our daughter explained that those last couple of plates wouldn't fit in the dishwasher, and Ayva's mother told her that she should have washed them by hand before leaving. Then, she told our daughter that they would have to "talk" on Monday, and for her to "think about this" over the weekend!!! Our daughter was SO upset; she called us in tears on Friday night, and I honestly haven't heard her cry in YEARS! She was primarily hired to take care of Ayva, not as the maid; she has put her heart into taking care of this darling little girl; she didn't understand what was so objectionable about having Ayva peek in on her mother a couple of times during the afternoon (she was going through boxes, not engaged in some conference call), and she'd just finished baking a darned pie as a treat for the family, and had cleaned up.

I can say that Arizona-daughter is a very organized, responsible, and tidy person. If there was anything left in the sink, there wasn't much, and whatever was there had been rinsed off!

Anyway, our daughter -- in knowing Ayva's mother -- said that she would probably acknowledge on Monday that she'd overreacted about the stupid plates, and apologize. Monday came and went, and Jim and I hadn't heard anything further. We figured that things had been worked out, or we would have heard. So last night, our daughter called to explain what had taken place this week.

Monday had come and gone without the issue having been addressed because everyone was busy, and there wasn't any time to discuss it. On Tuesday, Ayva's mother sat down with our daughter, over tea, and told her that what was coming had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the dishes in the sink (and she DID apologize for over-reacting), and told our daughter that she is the MOST responsible 20-year-old she's ever met. BUT -- here's the problem, and here's where it becomes bizarre!!!

This family is from Canada, and they moved to Arizona because Ayva's dad is some huge executive with an energy firm. Their families (the grandparents) still live in Canada, and Ayva's mother has been talking since last spring about the fact that her parents are coming for an extended visit. There are some strange dynamics with all of this, but frankly I don't remember all of the details. In any case, it has finally (apparently) been decided that this set of grandparents are coming in September, and plan to remain in Arizona for about four months.

These grandparents don't like the fact that Ayva has a nanny, and said that they aren't "comfortable" with the idea of having a nanny underfoot (our daughter doesn't LIVE there, but is just there during the day), and that they either needed to get rid of the nanny or they wouldn't come.

???????!!!!!!!???????

Ayva's mother said that there had been some arguing over this point for many weeks, but that her parents had held fast to this opinion, and so she and her husband had finally caved to their wishes. What the hell??? These people are in their forties, and yet they're allowing her parents to tell them whether or not they ought to have a nanny, and they won't COME visit their DAUGHTER and GRANDDAUGHTER if they don't get rid of someone who has taken good care of the child, and of the home?

Ayva's mother cried while she explained all of this to our daughter, and she said that she KNOWS she'll want our daughter back once her parents leave, but that our daughter will probably have another job by then. She said that her husband is very upset over this too, asking "What the hell are we going to do in a few months when we need help with Ayva again?"

Is this not the most bizarre thing you've ever heard? Can you imagine telling your children that you won't come visit them if they don't get rid of their nanny because you don't think that they ought to have one in the first place, and don't feel "comfortable" having her around? They've never even MET our daughter, and they insisted on her being fired, and leaving their daughter and son-in-law without the help they've come to rely on! AND, Ayva's parents went along with it...

I'm baffled! I can't imagine having someone (even my own parents, if they were alive) tell me who I'm allowed to hire to satisfy my own household needs.

Anyway, Ayva's mother told our daughter that she will write our daughter the most glowing recommendation that a person could receive, and that she has the ability to do more than to work as a nanny anyway. This is true! Yet, she loves that little girl, and loves children in general, so that's what she had chosen to do. However, she sees this as an opportunity, and is in good spirits about it. She knows that she can find something else to meet her rent (she really wants to stay where she is, and so do we because it's secure), even if it means getting two part-time jobs instead of one that's the same salary.

She'll work through the end of August...

You're not alone, KaeEll. Jim doesn't buy the story either!

KaeEll, I don't think that you're wrong! As a matter of fact, that was kind-of offered as part of the explanation to A-D, but as having come from Pam's PARENTS, not from Pam herself. (Pam is Ayva's mother.) She told our daughter, over their lovely tea (a gracious way to fire someone) that part of her PARENTS' argument was that there wasn't any reason to pay for a nanny when they, the grandparents, would be there, and were perfectly happy to watch Ayva, and clean the house.

So, either way you slice it, whether it's from the grandparents, for in reality from Pam herself, it stinks! It's ridiculous; our daughter is being (and has been) jerked around, and she IS better off being out of there. Poor little Ayva.

Our daughter has been hearing about the grandparents' visit for many months, with all of the back-and-forth negotiations (as I said, there are apparently some weird dynamics here), so I'm not sure that I completely agree with Jim that the whole story is bogus, but maybe it is. I'm more inclined to agree with your version in that it's a way to save money. Maybe she's feeling a bit pinched with the purchase of her new $5 million home, and needs to save on a few months' worth of nanny care...

That, or she's COMPLETELY nuts, and has been planning the grandparent explanation for months now.

Here's the thing -- our daughter has a really close guy friend who is tied to the family. It's through him that she stumbled into this job in the first place. He's quite furious about all of this, by the way... This young man, Brandon, is ... let me back up ... Ayva's father's father, so Ayva's grandfather on the other side (not nutty Pam's father) is Brandon's godfather. Follow that? So, Brandon will know what's going on, and what's true, and what isn't. Should be interesting.

Jim and I were never all that thrilled with having her be a nanny in the first place because it takes up a lot of time, even without the cooking and the cleaning! Her purpose in being out there is to get her degree. She still managed to do well, in the middle of all of this, but Jim wants her to get a job that's more directly related to her field now. She's about to begin her junior year, and she's a psychology major, so he wants her to try to find some kind of intern position. Easier said than done, of course.

I think you've hit the nail on the head, KaeEll...!!!

Shelly, I'm SO glad that your lunch worked out, and was fun -- not something sinister! YAY! Now you've got me thinking about fish and chips...

Our daughter really loves little Ayva, and she's always appreciated Ayva just for who she is. She's an amazingly bright little girl -- a quick learner, and a deep little thinker. She's recently been asking her mother for a baby sister (I think that's one reason why she was attracted to the baby doll), but that most likely isn't going to happen! As I said, the parents are already in their forties, and I don't think that they're the kind of people who want a house full of children anyway. I think that Ayva is lonely, and that our daughter has been a very sweet and caring companion to her...

She's also taught Ayva SO much! They cook together, she teaches her new vocabulary, rents CD's about animals (which Ayva LOVES). Ayva is very interested in dolphins now because of our daughter. She's helped Ayva practice writing her letters, has snuggled her through thunderstorms when the parents were out (just happened the other other night when there was so much lighening and wind that even our daughter was a bit unnerved) -- well I could go on and on. She's taken Ayva back to her own apartment on many occasions (about a thirty to forty minute drive, depending on the time of day), just to have "girly time" together. Ayva plays with the bunny, and they do their hair, nails, and toenails. Just hang out... Her apartment complex has a cool swimming pool; one end of it is sand, so it's like sitting on a beach. There's a little waterfall, and a playground, so she has taken Ayva there several times. They go to zoos and parks, grocery shopping together, and have explored just about everything that looks like it would be fun for Ayva to do!

I was just trying to find a picture of a fancy cake -- a favorite family recipe -- that our daughter had surprised the whole family with a couple of months ago. They'd all been out of town, and our daughter was house sitting. She made the roulage (a flourless chocolate cake that's rolled into a log, and filled with fresh whipped cream, and dusted with cocoa power), but had gone further by decorating it with some fresh flowers. She'd left it as a surprise for them, upon their return. I can't find the darned pictures, and will ask Jim to look on his computer. But it was such a typical thing for our daughter to do: very sweet, and thoughtful, and totally from the heart.

I feel sad for Ayva. She has SO much potential, and I think that she's going to miss her devoted nanny a great deal. Ayva JUST lost BOTH of her dogs about a month ago, and it was really traumatic for her. Now her nanny goes bye-bye, but at least our daughter has a couple of weeks to prepare her little charge for the change. Knowing her as I do, I'm certain that she'll do her best to get Ayva all excited about her grandparents' visit, and let her know that she'll be back from time to time...

I'm just grateful that our daughter is taking this so well. We were on the phone for over an hour last night (and she'd already talked to her dad), and she went on and on about counting her blessings, and how this isn't going to be the last job she loses in her lifetime, it's just the first one, but that she'll just have to work hard to find something else as soon as she possibly can. She has her friends, she loves where she lives, she has a family that loves her, including a brother and a sister to whom she feels close, and that's more than many have. She made it clear that she didn't want any financial assistance because she wants to be independent, and not continue to rely on the parents for these things. It made me very proud.

I think it's a blessing in disguise that they have fired your daughter for a couple of reasons.

One, they were abusing your daughter by making her do all those extra chores

two, they need to learn to raise their child without a nanny

but I do understand that your daughter will miss the little one a great deal

However, she could probably find people that are just looking for a nanny, not a maid as well!