Here's another one that has probably made the rounds before, but one of Jim's coworkers sent it to him, and he passed it on to me!


Women will understand this!
Men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, coworker or significant other!

Examples are in the following order:


DANGEROUS

SAFER

SAFEST

ULTRA SAFE



What's for
dinner?


Can I help you
with dinner?


Where would you like
to go for dinner?


Here, have some wine.

-----


Are you
wearing that?


Wow, you sure
look good in brown!


WOW! Look at you!


Here, have some wine

-----


What are you
so worked up about?


Could we be
overreacting?


Here's my paycheck.


Here, have some wine.

-----


Should you be
eating that?


You know, there are
a lot of apples left.


Can I get you a piece
of chocolate with that?


Here, have some wine.


-----



What did you
DO all day?


I hope you didn't
over-do it today.


I've always loved you
in that robe!


Here, have some
wine.

-----

Thirteen Things PMS Stands For:



1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff


and my favorite one :


13. Potential Murder Suspect