So on another message board, we have a guy who's in love with a girl that wants to wait before marriage before having sex. There's of course the guys that are all "sex is important" "wouldn't not test drive a car" etc.
Needless to say I was offended but things go worse. A few have quoted sex, lack of or bad, as the major reason their marriage failed. And I could say was... WRONG!
Sex like a lot of things in the physical affection category is a byproduct of how your relationship with someone is. If it's bad, things are bad. If things are good, then it's good. Sex is an outcome of the relationship's health, not something that if it goes "bad" you can cite as the reason your relationship fell apart. Your relationship goes bad from lack of communication, etc. not because "oh well we don't do it any more"....
What's funny is the guys that came up with this whole sex was the reason we're not together anymore theory, are the ones divorced multiple times, unhappily single and just plain bitter. Perhaps had they pulled their heads out of their asses and thought to fix the actual issues, maybe they'd be a little more happy...
I apologize on behalf of my sex for any guys that any of you have encountered that were like the ones I described above.
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"If you were looking for something clever or witty or funny here, you've come to the wrong place."
Well THANK YOU, Brandon, for understanding what a lot of guys don't; if you don't have a healthy relationship in other areas of your marriage, you're certainly not going to have a healthy and happy relationship in the bedroom! And on the flip side, having a satisfying little romp in bed, based on physical attraction or basic "needs", isn't going to fix the underlying stuff that may be lurking underneath that same bed, along with a few lingering little dust bunnies...
Having said that, I do think that it's unrealistic for a couple to contemplate marriage without even knowing whether or not they're sexually compatible. After all, if the physical connection isn't there to begin with, there will be some unhappy ramifications. Not that couples can't learn how to make their sex life more satisfying, but I think that the "romantic" notion of meeting each other for the very first time in the virginal marriage bed might be a bit overrated. Just my opinion, though... However, if that's the young woman's choice, it should absolutely be respected. I'd just be inclined to hang a large "caution" sign on the bedroom door, in case her romantic illusions prevent her from achieving the earth-moving, fireworks reaction she's anticipating that first time!
Anyway, most couples are at their most exhausted, after planning their wedding for months...
I'm pretty sure that almost every female on the planet has debated the issue of virginity, at one time or another. How could we not? I also imagine that there are as many reasons for remaining a virgin, or not remaining a virgin, as there are women! The problem is that if this young woman is pressured into changing her long-held commitment to being a virginal bride, and then the relationship falls apart for reasons completely unrelated to that, she'll feel compromised, used, stupid, angry, and bitter! Let's hope that the man in her life loves her enough to be patient, and is understanding enough to lead her into a physically satisfying marriage. After all, this is HIS first test of determining whether or not he's willing to be respectful of his wife's feelings!
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"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"
(Dumbledore to Harry Potter)
Foreplay begins in the morning. So, men that treat their wives badly all day, or just ignore them---those men are out of luck at night! Women that give in too easily have no leverage.
If the young man in question is belly-aching already, ONLINE, perhaps this is one union that wasn't meant to be.
No truer words were ever spoken!! LOL... Talk about a lack of respect, how about a little public humilation for the young lady?! Nice guy.
Sundancer, you're right about the morning foreplay. Bringing one's wife a little mug of coffee, or a glass of orange juice, is a simple but sweet gesture that's appreciated, and rewarded in other ways.
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"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"
(Dumbledore to Harry Potter)
