Well, he ruined the husband's birthday, and here's how.
Friday he called and asked if my son could come visit since Josh was leaving for Africa on Sunday. I am not cold hearted so I said yes and let him go because when my step bro goes to Africa it's for months and months. Well, when he got here we found out that Josh wasn't going after all. Well, we let Cody pick his clothes that he takes to my dads and he picked his new dirty wash jeans, his camo jeans, and a few other things. Anyways I knew his jeans were dirty but told my dad that since he didn't give us any warning that he wanted to take him he'd just have to deal with it. We've been through the week from hell and I wasn't going to cater to him. My mom may have done it but I'm not doing it. So anyways today we are all having lunch at the local diner, and my son gets a bit bleary eyed and says that grandpa was mean when he was there. Apparently my dad said we are bad parents because Cody's camo pants were tight on him (they weren't tight when he left that's for sure), and because Cody wears dirty clothes. Sorry Charlie my kids do follow trends deal with it daddy. We apparently don't put Cody first because he isn't playing basketball this season, because he had to catch up with his school work. Yup I'm a bad parent for putting my child's education first.
Well, my dad had the nerve to call just a while ago and tell us how bad of parents we are, well I have had my fill of his crap so I let loose. I reminded him that he left me with a crack whore while he got drunk and high, he cheated on his wife and abandoned his family, refused to take responsibility for his child's medical problems, and was the sole reason for my severe depression when I was a teenager. I couldn't help but bring up the fact that my son's teeth get taken care of when he needs them, and he let me just go and his excuse was that I just needed prayed for. Well, I can guarantee you that my son will get the braces he needs if the time ever arises even if I have to sell everything I have, unlike my darling daddy. Well, he will never again see any of my children. I will not allow anyone to reduce my son to tears and then blame us for it. He put me through hell when I was a child and I will never allow him to inflict that pain upon any individual.
Oh and get this.... he had the audacity to put Cody down because he has body odor. He said that we are unclean and that causes him to get BO. What a jack ass!!!! He is nearly 9 years old, I guess all children are dirty especially my brother, because he started smelling manly when he was 7. Oh gees I just i really want to hurt him. For crying out loud ohhh man I grrrrr.
Funny thing about parents, they don't change but we do. We actually have to give them a lecture every so often. My parents weren't so great either, and my mom and I get into it quite alot. Now that she's been living here, I let her know how I feel!
Hey, Jess - sometimes it's better to cut odd toxic relationships once and for all. I don't know about camo jeans etc, but a pair of pants than need a toss in the washer haardly seems like the basis for the sort of diatribe unleashed upon you and poor Cody! Your dad seems hell bent upon deflecting his giult back onto you. Don't ever let that happen! And I'll adopt you, too!
Jessica, my husband and I are also happy to adopt you, so you now have the luxury of choosing which new set of parents you want. I imagine that you'll get some other offers too!
Listen to me very carefully because this is my first advice to you as your new mother: Do not feel guilty about keeping your children away from your father. He's toxic, and the healthy thing for you to do, and the responsible thing for you to do, is to keep your children away from that kind of influence.
Unfortunatley, I speak from experience. My husband's sister is a total wacko, and I put up with her, and her equally toxic mother, for the entirety of my marriage to my husband. And, believe me, I tried every which way to make things work with these two. Well, my mother-in-law-from-hell "left us" in 1997. (Thank you, God!) But, my sister-in-law continued where her mother had left off.
Because I was used to it, after years and years of the "stuff", I was able to deal with it. But, when she started to play mind games with my kids, that was it! You can mess with me, but you can't mess with my kids. Enough! My husband agreed, and told his sister to go away. Permanently. Sadly, they are now totally estranged...
It's very difficult when you try to do the right thing as a parent, i.e., build a relationship between your children and your parents, but when those grandparents are actually attempting to poison your children's opinion of you and your husband, it's time to send a strong message: no more!
I'm so sorry that you and your son went through this, and I'm sorry that it happened on your husband's birthday. Perhaps, however, it was a gift to your husband afterall; he won't have to deal with this ongoing problem anymore! Run, don't walk, as fast as you can in the opposite direction.
And, Jessica -- my husband and I will spoil you, your husband, and your kids absolutely rotten!
__________________
"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"
(Dumbledore to Harry Potter)
Awww Moore, ok you can adopts me and jojo will be my sister. I think that works hehe.
Thanks for the advice too. I was feeling a little bit bad about deciding to cut him out, but now I don't feel nearly as guilty. I fully intend on allowig the normal familymembers be around the children, but definitely not my dad. The icing on the cake for me was after everything had calmed down, my son comes to me while I'm working on my homework and tells me his burn hurts. So I think to myself, when did he get burnt I must be some crappy mom to not have even noticed it, but he tells me that it happened at my dad's. Well, at first I thought oh ok accidnets happen I can overlook that, but then he told me what happened. Apparently my father wanted to light a pile of sticks on fire, but he didn't have a lighter. So he asked Cody to get a napkin, light it on the stove, and bring it to him. I don't even have to go any farther because we all know just how bad that was. Luckily I had my blue aloe and lathered him all up, so he wasn't feeling a thing after that.
Luckily yesterday was somewhat better than Sunday. We got our tax return on Saturday so we've been shopping, catching up bills, and all that stuff since then. Well we still had over 4,000.00 left as of yesterday and lo and behold our car broke down. I wasn't heart broken because I really hate what we have right now. It's an old ford station wagon and even though it was nice at first, it's loud and just plain evil now. Ok well now it won't drive more than 40 feet without dying. So we called the dealer's from whom we bought it because we had purchased an extra warranty to cover 50% of the repairs if anything should happen, well we called and we are 2 days out of that warranty, so we're screwed, and they are saying that the pay off is more than 4,000.00. I told them that's not possible because that's what we owe after interest and we were just looking to pay it off all at once. They are trying to say we still have to pay allt he interest. I told them to take the car and shove it up their you know whats. After the Sunday I had Monday was not the day to mess with Jessica. I told them that even though we have the money to buy it outright I would not give them a single penny for anything, because we've been callign them telling them that we're having problems, and no one would do anything because our salesman had been "let go". LOL, I went total bitch on them.
Well, anyways the husband has been wanting this Ford Explorer he has been seeing on the way to work every day, so after calling a few places, I told him to go ahead and call the guy selling it. He wanted 2800, but we talked him down to 2200 all just because the stereo is broken. It's a 95 and has only 83,000 miles on it. I was a bit hesitant at first, but now I'm happy. It has the sunroof I had been wanting, and it has 4 wheel drive option, and the ins. is only going up by 15.00 each month. The biggest plus. NO more car payments.
Anyways on the way back from buying the car, I thought I was going into labor, so we spent half the day at the hospital making sure I wasn't going. I tell ya what those Braxton Hicks we're killing me.
The doc said that he'll induce me at the beginning of February, that way we don't get stuck in any bad weather and that way we dont have a baby in the car lol.
