10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...
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"If you were looking for something clever or witty or funny here, you've come to the wrong place."
funny, but as a dog lover I have to add that dogs really have the much higher vocabulary! My dog is happy to sleep 23 hours a day, I'm coming back as a Yorky my next life!
I honestly think that is what is going on in my house and the cat's mind.... The only thing missing is where she strategically stalks and then launches herself at the dogs. Or, when it is time to go to bed, how she waits in one of the doorways, for the silly dogs to follow me down the hallway, and then hisses and launches herself at them. But then her utter disdain at the dogs when they will not become her friends, by rubbing against them in her attempts to completely overthrow me, and lead a mass revolt out the door to the great wild of the outdoors!
I'm one of those who is horribly allergic to cats, so the secret weapon comment was quite relevant where I'm concerned!
Needless to say, we don't HAVE a cat (although I had them growing up, and suffered for it), but only a very naughty Border Collie named Lucy. She's very cute, but very bad. Ten years old, and still thinks that she's a puppy...
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"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"
(Dumbledore to Harry Potter)
