I have been in the funk the last few days. I've just felt like something bad was going to happen with this wretched cloud of dread overshadowing everything. I mean h onestly I should be happy and excited with the new van and all, but I've just been down. Of course the pink eye didn't help matters.
Then to top things off my friend was found dead with a gunshot wound to the head. It wasn't homicide and I mean really how could it be an accident? So I'm mad and sad and more mad than anything, and confused. So so so damn confused!!! We went to church camp together and I mean gees. He supposedly had it all. He had plenty of people to whom he could turn, who would have much rather helped him than bury him. I seriously feel sick. How can anyone get over this?
I just don't know. I've lost too many friends so far I mean no one should ever have to attend 5 funerals of students their age before they even get to college, but in each of those cases it was a horrible accident. You felt bad for them because life was stolen. You can offer words of comfort because there is a possibility of seeing them again someday. You can sometimes feel them in those little moments, and everything is ok.
He came from a Christian family, so he knew what would happen if he took his life. I mean really if his family wasn't Christian it would be so much easier, because you could look at them and give them words of comfort that they may see him again someday, and they would believe it. Yeah but in this case those words would just be a crock of shit.
I hate him. The kid I grew up with out on the lake, and joked with in Sunday school. The kid who came to most of my birthday parties, and suffered through the adult yammering in anxious anticipation of a chance to finally go down to the lake and swim, the first person with whom I played Marco Polo, and so much more... I hate him the a wrath the likes of which I've never known before.
Then at the same time, I am so sad that he's gone. I feel so bad that he was obviously in a lot of pain. I wishhe had found someone to talk to. I hate knowing that he will never get married or have children and experience all of the joys of the world. I just I don't know. Well, the baby woke up so I'm out. I'll be around more tomorrow. Take care all.
Jessica, I am SO sorry to hear about your friend. I understand why you're angry over this because suicide is one of the most selfish acts that a person can commit. Everyone left behind suffers, and they have no opportunity to ask "why", they feel guilty for having missed all of the signs (although they shouldn't), and they wonder if they might have been able to help if they'd only known.
People who are in the depths of depression need to understand that there is always hope, there is always a better day just around the corner to be enjoyed, and there is help! It's so sad to know that they have chosen such a final act, without regard for the feelings of those they're leaving behind who loved them. Terrible!
I have to disagree with you on one point, though, because I don't believe that your friend sacrificed all Grace through this desperate choice. If you have faith, then you have to believe that God understands far more than we do, and forgives us for our mistakes... I think that this gives you every right to comfort his parents when you see them.
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"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"
(Dumbledore to Harry Potter)
Thanks guys. I am just going to have to have faith in God's mercy. I've been looking for different verses for that in the Bible. I'm feeling better actually. I don't know, but I wonder if this dreadful and looming feeling has been some how related to this, because that dread has really gone away. Of course I could just be losing it too lol.
there is a country song called "How do you get that Lonely" or something like that. Its about a similar topic though I believe those in the video were still in HS.
And I agree with Moore about where we go. I know that there are a lot of people in the Catholic religion that believe if you kill yourself you spend eternity in another place. I don't believe that. Jess I hope that you were able to find the verses you were looking for. If not let me know, I have a book called Where to find it in the Bible..So it would probably be there.
Anyways, I think that you have about the same kind of faith in God that I do so I know you will find a way to make sense of all this when there really isnt any. And i am really sorry to hear that you have lost so many to such tragic events
You guys are really such a blessing. I love you all (oh gees I sound like an old Budweiser commercial). I did find some verses that really helped. I am kind of consoled because I coiudln't find anywhere in the bible that came out and said flat out ... suicide = instant Hell. I am going to try to keep an open mind on this one. I talked to my dad and he has gone to seminary school and been preaching for years so I would suppose he knows the ins and outs of it all. He believes that God shows mercy to those in deep deep depression. This may sound very far fetched but I was reading and all on oppression, and who knows.
But thanks guys. I have come out of my funk actually as well. My husband thinks maybe the funk is related to this which could be or it could be anumber of things. I guess it would make sense though because this happens a lot, and usually right before someone dies. I kind of think we are all tuned into these vibes and what not. Anyways the funeral will be Saturday I think and I went and got my hair done for it. I really don't want to go. How awful is that?
I'd much rather go to the visitation and maybe the internment ( I think that's what it's called) at the cemetery. I don't like watching everyone being so miserable. It just makes things worse. Of course someone mentioned singing in which case, I'm kinda stuck. You know I really hate funerals, and funeral homes. Oh man there was one across from our high school, and I just hated it. Every time they had funerals I just hated it. It's ok when no one was there. Heck one time we had career day at school and the nice lil old guy (it's weird one of the guys who owned it looked like Santa) offered to let everyone go to the funeral home and see a day in the life and what not. Of course I couldn't go because I was a senior that year and we were coordinating everything and I had to present speakers. But when I had to walk over there and escort one of the classes back, it was no problem.
I am so glad that your funk is a little better, also glad that you found the right bible verses. It is calming to read God's and Jesus' words. They make me feel better too
