This 65 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing. Her 65 year old husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her awhile then says, "You look ridiculous, what on earth are you doing?" She says, "I just got my check-up and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 65 year-old ass?" She says, "Well, your name never came up."
Single women come home, see whats in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see whats in bed and go to the fridge. ************************************************************************************
A biker absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by stuffing him in his saddle bags and dropping him 20 blocks from his home at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Riding back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to ride a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?" "Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a-of-a-***** on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!" ************************************************************************************ One day, two redneck bikers named Bubba and Earl were riding down the road, drinking a couple of Buds. As they pulled around a curve in the road, Bubba, said, "Lookey thar up ahead Earl, it's a po-leece roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!" "Don't worry Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, then throw the bottles in the ditch." "What fer?" asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', okay?" said Earl. They finished their beers, threw the empty bottles i the ditch and slapped the labels on their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "Have you boys been drinking?" "No sir," said Earl, "We're on the patch." ************************************************************************************
A group of bikers decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic. "What's logic?" the first biker asked. The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "I sure do." "Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor. "That's real good!" said the biker. The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house." Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazing!" "And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife." "That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The biker was catching on. "Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor. "You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I can't wait to take that logic class!" The biker, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friends was still waiting. "So what classes are ya takin' ?" asked one of his friends . "Math, history, and logic!" replied the biker. "What in the Hell is logic?" asked his friend. "Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the biker. "No," his friend replied. "You're queer, ain't ya?"
